There’s more to reality than what is said in the Bible

And for what is not there, you have to use your heart and mind and your conscience.

My mother and father were educated at a religious college. My father also had a masters from a seminary. When it came time for me to decide about college, because I would not go to a religious college, as I did not want a religious occupation, they refused to help me with college at all and told me they would not even let me live at home if I attended the local community college. I was expected to go to religious college, marry a minister and that would be my life. Did I want to live my life with another domineering, authoritarian man? They made my childhood hell and I’d rather have died than to spend my whole life that way. So I was cut off when I was 16, nearly 17.

I got married, had a child, divorced and spent many years struggling at lower-level jobs while I raised my daughter. When it came time for her to go to college, all I could offer was free rent. She went to work and school for a while, got her AA degree, worked some more, then went into the military and did her 4 years, came home, went to the local University and with her military benefits and loans and part-time work, finally got her degree last Spring. She is 36 this year, not married and no children. It has been a long hard road. If I had been able to help her earlier, she would not have had to risk her life in the military. If I had been able to help her earlier, she may have already been on her career path and might have already started a family. Sometimes better late than never does not completely apply. Sometimes you just lose out on parts of your life you should have had.

I deeply regret that I wasn’t able to help her more. I would have been able to help her more if my parents had been willing to help me get my college education. I know it is not always possible, but it is my heartfelt belief that there is nothing more important a person can do for their children than making sure they complete their education as far as their capabilities and interest go. It is not a legal obligation but a gift of love and many people are willing to sacrifice for that so that their children and hopefully future grandchildren will not have to struggle as much.

Our goal also is to be debt free

What killed us is that we had to place a $4000 school downpayment onto a credit card. That was our last resort or daughter couldn’t go to school last fall. She has student loans out but this was part of what the government said we can afford. Funny thing is they count my income (10,000) a year as income when they take out of us $13,000 over the 10 month school period. The only option we have is a parent loan and how are we supposed to pay for that? So for 2 more years we have to suffer and then there is a 1 year time off and then the next child will be in school.

One company that has a great transfer offer is Discover. I transferred all my balances at lifetime 0% interest. the only catch is that you have to perform 2 transactions per billing period to keep the rate. No minimun charge. So what i do is twice per month I buy something for $1.00 and i pay off the extra $2.00 at the end of the month. You have to be diligent. For me it was great because i was coming off cards with 25% interest.

This is probably not Politically Correct and may really upset several people, but would someone please show me where it is written in either the Bible or the law that parents must pay for their kids college? My parents supported me going to college, they were always patting me on the back and encouraging me to go, but they did not have the money. I was only able to afford one semester and did not finish until 10 years later, working 3 part-time jobs with a wife and 2 kids. When my oldest graduated HS, we did not have the money either. When his college got through calling me everything lower than whale dung, they found more scholarship money. Like some of you, I made too much on paper for him to be entitled to any government handouts. My other son is currently working his way through his senior year of college and will graduate with no student loans and no money from me either, though he does live at home rent free.

This is not a bragging story, this is reality. My wife and I have been struggling like many of you and we refused to go into debt for out kids college.

Just my two cents worth.

collegesI am, in no way, coming down on those who pay college tuition for their child, it is a personal decision, but here is my tiny little 2 cents on the subject…

Even if I had the money to send him to school, we would still make him pay his way through college. When my dad was paying for me to go to school, I did not appreciate it and I didn’t work hard. I was having too good a time to study. I ended up leaving school my second year. Several years later, I had to put myself through school, with student loans and grants. When I had to work my way through college, yes it did take me longer, but I appreciated it much more. I knew if I failed a class and had to retake it, that was more money I had to pay for additional semesters.

Now, if my son graduates with a good GPA and he worked his behind off, we will probably pay his school loans off so that he doesn’t start his adult life with both feet stuck in quicksand.

My aunt just went through this with her son. He was goofing off, failing classes and I told her to cut him off because he needed to learn to appreciate an education. This advice comes from my own personal experience. I knew several people whose parents were fully paying tuition, rent, books, spending cash. I always felt jealous of them at the time (almost 20 years ago), but now I realize that I don’t want to pay for a 4 year long party.